Red Bull Energy Shot
Pictured at the right is a family portrait that’s sure to both warm and accelerate the cockles of one’s heart to equally uncomfortable levels. Look’it the widdle guy! So young, so naive, so full of chemicals. I think we can all remember those days.
This thing has been a long time coming, and I like to think that I managed to keep some very realistic expectations of it. “It will taste kind of like Red Bull,” “it will be comparable in strength to the leading energy shot, ol’ 5-Hour,” “I will never be burdened by sleep ever again.” I was 1/3rd correct: it does taste kinda like a concentrated Red Bull, though not as harsh as you might be thinking. Imagine if someone mixed up a double-dose batch of Red Bull flavored Kool-Aid, and that’s basically what we’re talking about here. It’s actually very pleasant—I don’t think I’m doing it justice. If you’re inclined towards Red Bull, I’m confident you’ll enjoy it.
That said: Under 100 milligrams of caffeine, in an energy shot? My initial reaction was that this long-awaited sauce was weak, and I did despair. But perhaps the issue lies not with the Red Bull Shot, but truly, within myself? Let us think on this:
Chemically, this thing weighs in around the same area as a small can of Red Bull. It’s not like you’re slugging back a Sixteen Hour Anyurism (patent pending) in the morning and you’re wired for the entire day. Picture this, instead: say, you drink two or three cans of Red Bull to get through your average day—let’s assume for a moment that you have a caffeine problem, as I have heard some people on the internet do. Now, these little guys take the place of one or more of said cans! Variety is the spice of life, they say. They’re convenient, they’re delicious, and they keep you at a very pleasant caffeine baseline.
As an added bonus: Very stashable. You never know when you’ll find yourself deep in the throes of the caffeine DTs, without a convenience store in sight. In that respect, it’s like a little portable epinephrine shot for those of us deathly allergic to decaf.
