5-Hour Energy
I forget what it was that inspired me to purchase this–my first energy shot–on that fateful day. I was down with the caffeine and all, sure, but all those crazy vitamins? Drinking 8333% of your recommended daily allowance of anything, I assumed, was probably enough of it to kill you. That’s one hundred and sixty oranges worth of vitamin C, or forty gallons of water. And yeah, lots of people use it, okay. Some people also do meth, and I wasn’t planning on slugging any of that down during my commute either.
Even now, after dozens of these little bastards, I still eye them with reservation. Like the plot of so many buddy cop movies, I don’t trust it and it doesn’t like my liver, but we’re just gonna have to put aside our differences for the time being and work together—because, by God, these syrupy little potions work.
This is likely as close as one can get to a video-game-style power-up, at least within the context of things found at a convenience store checkout. Not but a few scant moments after finishing it off, it hits you: a literal rush of energy, that continues on for the handful of hours advertised. You’re not super jittery, but you’re energetic. You’re motivated. You’re focused. You’re ready to take on the world. Sometimes, as an added bonus, you’re red?
Yeah, you can turn red from all the niacin in this stuff. When a drink is messing with my own personal hue/saturation, I can’t help but assume something biochemically unsettling is goin’ down. But turning an Irishman red is really no large accomplishment, and it’s a small price to pay for such effectiveness.
It’s a shot and all, so taste doesn’t enter into the equation in a big way, but they’re actually pretty good. I haven’t found a flavor that I dislike.
All in all, 5-Hour Energy has earned my seal of approval. Go get yourself one and try it. It’s an experience.
