Bawls
The Cadillac of energy drinks. The Cristal of the nerd-set. The very bottle speaks of class and distinction. Also: the name is hilarious, and it’s all I can do to keep this post from degenerating into a list of debatably clever double-entendres.
When Bawls hits your tongue When you taste the Bawls Bawls has a very light, naturally sweet flavor that’s meant to be savored at one’s leisure. It’s not an oh-god-half-an-hour-to-finish-this-website kind of drink that you smash back for a quick chemical rush, because it’s just too good for that. You would be hard-pressed to find a finer way to stay at your baseline.
This is the kind of thing a caffeine junky would sip on while sittin’ in a bigass leather chair. You crack open a bottle with deep reverence, breath deep of the icy plume of condensation that results. Maybe you’re wearing a red velour robe, maybe you have a pipe—I don’t know how you roll, but I assume that’s pretty close to it.
There was a time when it had to be ordered online (Thinkgeek), which only added to its air of of exclusivity. Now it’s starting to pop up in retail stores, which is cool. 7-11 has it pretty consistently, which is unsurprising considering their dedication to the luxurious and refined. Go and find yourself some; you’ll thank me later.
