Jolt Orange Blast
Holy hell, it’s Jolt. This is a beverage for a more innocent age—a time when caffeine intoxication was new and exciting, and Jolt was reserved mostly for kids who’d watched Hackers a handful of times and had at least one copy of The Anarchist’s Cookbook on a floppy. I’m just saying, I knew one of those kids. Let’s call him “a friend.”
In my youth, Jolt was the thing to drink when I was staying up all night building complicated games in Hypercard on my Mac Classic II—so now that I’ve matured to staying up all night building complicated websites in TextMate on my iMac, you can see where I’m pretty psyched to see my old buddy Jolt.
I gotta say, too: I get a kick out of the can looking like a big battery. It’s like a dorky old-man-joke that wouldn’t be half as entertaining if it weren’t coming from some cool old guy.
It tastes a-okay by me. Plain ol’ orange soda flavor, with a hint of that weird and undefinable Jolt aftertaste. It’s still one of the industry leaders for caffeine content. When you’re the OG of the caffeine game, you got to come real with the milligrams. Feel me?
