Rockstar “Punched”
If you’re like me, seeing punch-flavored anything calls to mind the bright red, non-specific “fruit” punch that was all the rage throughout my childhood. The stuff that came in big nondescript glass jugs, with an ingredient list that read something like:
High fructose corn syrup, water, red
Imagine my delight when I discovered that Rockstar chose not to deviate from that tried and true mid-80’s formula! Instantly I was whisked back to a time when I was forming strong opinions about the place of Super Mario Bros. 2 within the scope of series.
It’s the kind of sickly-sweet that you’re thinking of, which isn’t intolerable. If you put a couple of heaping scoops of Starburst in a blender and added some seltzer, that’s basically what we’re talkin’ about here. It deviates from the standard Rockstar formula that more tartness equals more X-TREME™, which, y’know, that’s fine by me.
Buzz-wise, it didn’t seem to have a whole hell of a lot of kick to it. It’s not gonna be anyone’s go-to drink when you’re looking for the big time palpitations, but it just might do the job if you’re looking to pop in a VHS and get radical with some Ninja Turtles cartoons.
Overall, I’d rate it as a solid, uh, “pretty okay.”
…Listen, I’m new at this, alright?
